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Dear Father

I can feel you, feel these long years deep within,
Tortured, lay mind, body and soul,
I'd need all this to feel so whole,
If I could take it all back and be normal again.
.
I think that I can hear you now,
Though all I hear are whispers,
My body growing sicker,
My soul rotting so darkened, how?
.
Listen closely I'll tell you about,
How day in and out I die a little,
Spending life stuck in the middle,
These little things, I could do without.
.
What something was enough to free you from obscinity,
Never could I be blamed on the faults of my founder,
Never though, could I be freed from this terror,
I see, dear father, this was merely impartiality.
.
Could I save myself from your unsparing?
Or will I remain uncolored within your filth?
Could I stay to try and enjoy the wealth?
Or will I escape away from a scene unfailing?
.
If not to change you then be your dispatcher,
Cradle me, bitter sweet nightmare,
I haven't the strength to yet let go.